I wished I spent his last days as an Only Child preparing him more…

04 Feb

So I know I haven’t written anything in months, but it’s not that I haven’t been thinking about it. Oh, I have. In the time since my last posting, there’s been a lot going on….a lot.

First, there was Thanksgiving, which really seems like years ago, instead of months. This year, Matty went to his parents Thanksgiving, leaving Ollie & me behind for a couple reasons: 1) I didn’t want to be 2 hours away from home (and hospital!) three weeks before Tucker was due to be born. Just didn’t want to tempt the situation that something could still go wrong. The second reason was Ollie. He wasn’t approved by insurance this year to get that protective shot against RSV, so his health is more vulnerable this year than it was last year, so we’re still The Isolation Nazis for just this one last winter.

Thanksgiving with my family traditionally happens on the Saturday after Official Thanksgiving, and this year my brother and sister-in-law hosted at their house, that has open stairs and no baby gates. Much of that day was spent following Ollie as he scooted up and down steps, over here and over there and back. He was very, very busy that day, which leads me to Sunday…

The day Tucker was born.

Interesting how after a day of more-than-normal exertion leads to the birth of Little Brother, hey?

Who knows whether or not it was the chasing or the food or if would have happened anyway, but apparently I can’t be pregnant around any major holidays (Ollie was born two days after Christmas!), things just happen, and now we have two of the biggest holidays of the year to kick off my boys’ birthdays.

The next few days were spent in the hospital, recovering.

C-sections kinda suck. Here you have this new baby that you just “birthed,” but you’re so not yourself that it’s not possible to really “care” for him very long. We had him spend his nights in the nursery all three nights we were there, simply because I was too wiped out to care for him and Matty was still going to work and needed to get more than 2 hours of sleep. Tuesday and Wednesday it was me and Tucker against the world with a few visits from friends and family.

Oh, and family. All I wanted was Ollie. I missed that little guy so much and he was understandably unsure of the situation with Mom in a hospital bed with things attached. No one was really themselves, and Ollie’s hesitance to hug me broke my li’l heart. Mommy Guilt struck hard when I thought of how much Ollie’s life was about to change, how different everything would be when we went home. I wished Ollie was older to understand the changes that were going to happen in his life and I wished I spent his last days as an Only Child preparing him more for his new role as Big Brother and the arrival of Little Brother.

But I thought I had three more weeks!

Of course everyone survived. After some adjustment. The first few days, with me and those infamous post-pregnancy hormone drops, were not the smoothest. I cried if someone looked at me wrong, I bawled if Ollie seemed more excited to see Grandma than he was me, or if the noodles were overcooked. (And I want to publicly apologize to anyone I yelled, snarled or growled at in those first weeks. That wasn’t me talking!) There were (and are) times when Tucker needed me more than Ollie did at that moment, and Ollie doesn’t quite get that yet. But he will. Ollie impresses me on a daily basis as he grows into his role as Big Brother. He tries to help with Tiny T in ways that he can, by giving him his blanket or throwing diapers away for me. He “pets” Tucker like he does the cat, gently and with affection. It’s really very sweet.

Ollie & Tuck. Sounds like an epic brotherhood. Hopefully they’ll grow to be more like Owen and Luke Wilson or The BeeGees and less like the rocky relationship Liam and Noel Gallagher from Oasis have. They have to start small, though. I can’t expect them to be best buds right away, but I think they’re going in the right direction…

Tucker smiles at Ollie. Tucker really seems to like his big brother; he seeks him out and grins. Ollie is too busy with his toddler-tasks to really notice, but we do. And I’m happy to see it. While I have to “work” for a smile, Ollie gets them with no effort whatsoever.

I don’t know if Ollie remembers life with just him anymore. I hope he doesn’t. I hope he understands that Tuck is here for the duration, just like he is, and that no one is the favorite. I want him to understand that he and Tucker are a duo, a peas and carrots combination of complementary abilities and personalities.

That could be a lot to ask of a two-year-old. I don’t think it is, though.


1 Comment

Posted by on February 4, 2011 in Uncategorized


One response to “I wished I spent his last days as an Only Child preparing him more…

  1. kim brooks

    February 5, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    🙂 it’s wonderful they have each other…It’s strange how even babies, like Tucker, know other kids and smile and connect. I used to notice that with lyzzi too when she was a baby. 🙂


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