::Dear Lord, Please don’t let my enormous jug o’ pee spill in the car::
The above prayer was whispered a few days after The Doctors noted I had a little extra protein in my urine, unfortunately, a sign of pre-eclampsia, which is what made Ollie’s birthday so dangerous for me. High Blood Pressure, crazy swelling and bad urine numbers are sort of the Grand Ruling Triumvirate of Pre-E during pregnancy, and I maybe-kinda-sorta had two of the three symptoms. (My feet were more swollen than I experienced before for a couple days, too) I don’t really know what kinds of protein were lurking in that urine, but obviously, this wasn’t the best news and it kind of bummed me out for a few days. I thought things might be going too well this time around. You know, making it past 28 weeks and all…..
So, The Doctors prescribed me The Big Orange Jug and the instructions to do a 24-hour-urine collection, and we had this jug taking up valuable real estate in our refrigerator.
I was just happy that I don’t have a job in an office anymore. Could you imagine keeping that in your office refrigerator? Even if they don’t know exactly what it is, I would still know that next to my work-mates’ Coffee-Mate, milk, and lunchtime leftovers, there’s THAT, marinating away…..
Anyway, the numbers actually turned out fine. A random higher-than-normal protein reading that sent everyone into a tizzy unnecessarily. It could be I was maybe less-than-hydrated or needed to simmer down a little from something, but all is cool with the pee.
Because what I didn’t mention, is that I might have upped my daily water intake a bit in order to avoid having any higher-than-normal numbers lurking in that big jug o’ pee. Like, maybe skewed my results a bit by drinking crazy amounts of water in the days leading up to Collection Day and now I’m afraid to stop drinking said crazy amounts of water. I don’t want my protein levels to creep up again causing more concern, and if the conditions are right, something impossible like *gulp* bed-rest.
But what’s funny, is that — to me anyway — Crazy Amounts of Water equals oh, about 70oz a day. ACCORDING TO SMART PEOPLE, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DRINK 64oz PER DAY. An extra 6oz certainly isn’t “crazy.”
I just don’t like water. Plain and simple.
Water with lemon? a cucumber slice? extra super cold? a little warm?
No thank you!
Water with kool aid? iced tea? in a can that looks like Mountain Dew, twisted and turned and enough sugar added to make it unrecognizable?
(And I’m raising one-soon-to-be-two children?)
But honestly, I just don’t like the taste of it – or lack of taste. I guess it’s too watery, I don’t know, but apparently I prefer to save it until late in the day, looking at the clock at 9pm, somewhat in awe of my own stupidity, asking myself if 33 years of living have been a waste because HAD I NOT LEARNED ANYTHING IN SCHOOL, IN LIFE???
Do I not realize that dumping such a Crazy Amount of Water down my gullet at bedtime does not allow a night without bathroom breaks?
Yes. Yes, I do in fact realize that this practice is nowhere near conducive to a full night’s sleep. My dislike for water apparently outweighs my love of sleep. Oddly surprising.
I might change my habits, I might not. I don’t know, this up-in-the-night-four-or-five-times sure is getting me back in practice for when Little Brother comes home and we have to feed him every few hours.
But maybe I should save these sleepless nights for then?