Can I tell you, I’m kinda getting a little freaked out….

10 Sep

So, we know we’re expecting another little buddy around Christmas time. I “get” to schedule his birthday, probably around mid-December.

Anyway, that’s, like, three months away.

Only three months away.

Less than 100 days.

I know that once Little Brother is here, after a few weeks, it will seem like he’s always been here. I know that. I’m banking on that. Because, yes, while Ollie will be about two when Little Brother is born, his delays and challenges make him feel younger.

A lot younger.

Like some days, he feels like he’s less than a year and I never wanted my children to be that close in age. Think of how hard it would be, [I thought] with both kids needing so much from parents.

Yeah, that’s how it is. Ollie needs – and gets – a lot from us.

Kid doesn’t even feed himself.

He has yet to find his independent streak.

I’m not mad at Ollie; far from it. I’m proud as a peacock of him and his success. But we really need to get crackin’ on these delays, dude.

Walking….walking would be nice. While it’s cute as hell to see him doing his butt-scoot to get places, somehow that doesn’t seem like the recommended method of traversing the driveway to get to the car. While I’m carrying his little brother. In December. In Wisconsin. I would much rather picture us hand-in-hand walking to the car, carrying Little Brother in his infant carrier. Not struggling to set up and maneuver a double stroller, not fighting the slush in the tires of said double stroller, not wondering if this is how parents of twins usually feel.

I think about how much easier life will be when he is walking, and I can’t help but feel a bit woe-is-me about it. I’m so ready for him to be caught up.

And eating. Oh, eating.

I was at the Y yesterday, giving him a lunchtime bottle of milk and this sweet (looking) elderly lady gave me a queer look and asked: “he does get food, right?” shortly followed by, “does he ever hold his bottle?”

Thanks lady, with two mind-yer-own-business questions, you found my Achilles heel and took me down in record time. Thanks for pointing out the things that my kid doesn’t do. The things that I feel pretty sensitive about, and exposing them for your own precious curiosity to be satisfied.

I hate hate people like that. Those were the ones who stared when Ollie still had the oxygen tube in his nose. All I want from you, Kind Stranger, is to tell me my kid is cute. That’s it. That’s where our conversation should end. If I want to get into why he’s not holding a bottle or not walking, that’s my prerogative, but I don’t like defending my child to complete strangers. It’s really nunya-bidness whether he’s eating, walking, crawling, standing, reading the dictionary, doing equations or working out the solution to world peace in his free time. All that matters to you is that he’s cute.

End of rant.

So, yeah, he doesn’t feed himself. Which, when we have a newborn who, coincidentally, also won’t feed himself, it’ll be a challenge to get everyone on a schedule that we can all live with. Thankfully Matty and I can both bring a fork to our mouths, chew, and swallow without looking like I just put velvet on his tongue and told him to swallow.

And sleeping. Ollie is back to being a great sleeper. I’m not going to complain about that. But he still has issues getting himself to sleep. We can’t plop him in his crib and three minutes later, find a sleeping child in his spot. No siree, not Ollie! (And I know this is our fault) He requires snuggles to settle him down after a full day of doing what we’ve done. I really, really kind of love that he’s a snuggle-up-a-gus. I do. I will miss that when he is able to settle himself down for the night.

But it just doesn’t seem like the best thing to be encouraging, when there’s a tiny version of him brewing up right now. Another little dude who’ll likely enjoy the snuggles of a parent just as much to get to sleep. How will anyone ever nap when there’s two children that need snuggling, but only one mama around to do it?

So, yeah, I might be freaking out a little bit. Because people have kids that are two years apart all the time, but their Number One is perfectly on track developmentally, and it’s still knock-your-socks-off hard.

Because Ollie is absolutely awesome just the way he is. You can tell how proud I am of him from every other post on here about him. He is amazing and a blessing and perfect. But sometimes the happy hides, the pride is eclipsed by milestone envy, and the worry sets in about what we’re about to take on. And it freaks me out. But I know with every milestone that he conquers, he is finding his independent streak. And I’m going to be all woe-is-me about that.

I just hope that he doesn’t have to learn how to walk from his Little Brother.


Posted by on September 10, 2010 in Uncategorized


4 responses to “Can I tell you, I’m kinda getting a little freaked out….

  1. Anon

    September 11, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    You will handle it all with the same grace and strength you have handled everything else. With God’s help, between Matt and you, what needs to be done will get done, he who is hungry will be fed, and your little family will flourish!

  2. Sheryl

    October 11, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    You’re going to do great Lisa! I can only imagine how overwhelmed you feel (thank God) but once everyone gets settled all of you will adjust and it will be wonderful. Ollie is doing great and I’m so impressed with his progress! And little brother is going to look HUGE to to you when he gets here ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Nicole Lemke

    October 23, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    You will figure out how to get them both to napped and snuggled. Then you can feel like a rockstar (probably for a week or two until they change it up!)

  4. Lynette

    November 2, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    “All that matters to you is that heโ€™s cute.” That is 100% how I feel when people give his/her two cents about Jameson not talking/babbling.

    I really can’t write anything better than Anon already wrote. You will be able to kick butt and take names like you have all along.

    P.S. Ollie is ADORABLE. ๐Ÿ™‚


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: